Let yourself feel so that you can heal

I find myself at a crossroad often.

It is different every time, but familiar.

The spiritual + healing journey tends to follow this pattern for me.


At this crossroad I am presented with an opportunity that allows me to make a choice: am I going to let myself feel or am I going to run?

For most of my life, I chose to run. What did continuously escaping my life look like?


Depression.

Anxiety.

Self-sabotage.

Toxic relationships.

Misaligned places.

Illness.

Unfulfillment.

The list goes on and on and it is not pretty.


I thought that running from what I felt would somehow make the feelings I didn’t want or thought were shameful go away. But the truth is, it made them stay. It consumed them. It brought them into the depths of my psyche where I couldn’t even see them but they took control over my life.


It’s really interesting the way that happens. We think by avoiding something we are safe from it, but we truly have to move through things in order to even begin to heal them.


Healing isn’t easy. It is a lot of work at times. It requires full responsibility & accountability and recognizing that you are the one who chooses your life. For me that was not something I was willing to face until I had no other choice. I was done with the life I was living and knew there had to be a different way to do things or else what would be the point? Why on earth would I be out here to suffer day in and day out every day until the end of my days in this journey?


Choosing to look at all that is coming up is also complex at times because I can see myself escaping into my feelings too. Attaching myself to them makes me hold onto them even longer and then they start to dictate my experience. I start defining myself by the thoughts in my head & whatever feeling I identify them as and that’s not healthy either. I’ve done that too. I’ve left myself out of many joyful experiences because of my attachment to sadness or anger. I’ve dulled out happiness because I didn’t let myself feel something fully and it’s lingering was palpable.


I want you to know that it is safe to feeling what is coming up for you & it is actually necessary to heal. You can choose to not look at what is arising and then it literally becomes this shameful shadow that does not let up. You can choose to look too much at something instead of letting it pass through you.

Some practices that can be helpful:

  • Meditation to help you separate from your thoughts/feelings

  • Journaling when you are triggered by an event to see where healing can be directed

  • Somatic moving to physically move through feelings (dance is a great one for this)

  • Screaming loud is a safe place to release anger - if you don’t have a car or open field you can scream or punch a pillow

  • Letting yourself cry when you feel tears coming to the surface instead of talking yourself out of it

  • Holding deep compassion for yourself on your journey by envisioning your younger inner child who didn’t receive love in the way they needed it and imagining you are hugging your younger self

  • Working with a therapist / trained professional to cultivate a safe space for healing

  • Open communication on what emotions are coming up to a loved one

  • Speaking what is on your mind when it arises instead of letting it fester


These are some things that have helped me tremendously on my journey & felt called to share them with you.


Hope you all have a beautiful day


xx erin

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I have been actively working on myself for over ten years now and one of the first realizations I came to was that the thoughts in my head, and the emotions I feel are not always true. So I then start