Health is now one of my most important goals. But what is health? How do I get to be healthy? For me, it started by realizing there must be something more than what I was doing. You could say it was a spiritual awakening but I think there’s so much misunderstanding behind that term. I’d rather call it a knowing. A knowing came over me that what I was doing wasn’t working and there must be another way. And I felt a purpose for the first time in my life. To live a life I was deserving of. Of knowing my worth and realizing I hadn’t been living in a way that acted like I was worthy. With that little seed, I started to read a lot. I read about the power of the mind and about tools to help me tap into the power that exists.
I started in the mind by cleaning up my thoughts. And then I began to focus on my emotions, realizing I can feel whatever comes up and then let them go. Realizing they didn’t have to consume me longer than I was letting them and that I didn’t have to have a knee-jerk reaction in all of my interactions. I started to take moments of pauses before I’d respond. My emotions also became more balanced since I’ve started to focus on my thoughts. And with mental and emotional clarity, my physical health followed-this is the most recent change.
I used to be obsessed with looking good, essentially with how much the scale said I weighed, with calorie counts and guilty thoughts about the food I was eating. And then I’d binge and that cycle repeated itself for so many years. Now I am able to make choices that are better for my body and actually implementing healthy changes. For me, that mean no more weigh-ins, eating foods that are nutritious, and going off of how I feel energetically. Eating more foods that give me energy and less of the ones that drain me. There is a huge connection between the spirit, mind, and body.
I think the process is different for everyone, mine started in the spirit, then integrated into the mind, and the body followed. The three of them together create a total balance and when they are healthily aligned I am capable of things once thought as a crazy dream or unimaginable. I see it in my life so vividly and clearly now. How they work together in perfect harmony, or disharmony.
Healing is a really interesting process. Sometimes it feels like actual death, healing from emotional grief, something I know all too well, is one of the hardest healing I’ve ever had to do. Healing is not always easy, there are choices to be made that have never been made before. There are steps to take and all of them are my responsibility. I can choose to heal or live in illness. That is my biggest realization. Sometimes I’m off, whether it be spiritually, emotionally, mentally, or physically. But healing is a rebirthing process. Letting the old die and breaking out of the ashes anew like the Phoenix. It’s not a pretty thing to watch parts of yourself you once identified so strongly with die. I’ve gotten stuck in holding onto past pains, habits, only to hold onto them so tightly, which was only inhibiting my ability to heal from them. Healing hurts. It gets worse before it gets better sometimes. Trying to detach from parts of ourselves that once protected us is difficult. I saw how I would shut down after I felt attacked or in deep pain, a habit I built as a defensive mechanism that once worked for me when I was younger but now it only limits me. Letting go of that one was really hard. “What if I get hurt again? What if I never recover from the pain? What if it’s the last thing I can handle and I totally lose it? Isn’t it easier to just shut down instead of feel all the painful feelings?” These are all questions my ego asks and I hesitantly step into the light- still slightly convinced by the questions of the ego, but ultimately I know that nothing gets better if I shut down anymore. My only way to fully heal and thrive is by remaining open, through the good, the bad, and the extremely ugly.
The mind can convince us of many things, that’s why it’s health is vital to our overall wellbeing. It can effect the mental (clearly), emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects. Focusing on mind health has been my biggest challenge due to all of the reasons above. But i know with healing my mind the rest follows. It’s all part of a chain, one which all links need to be well-oiled to work in unison. The mind is the messiest for me. But it gets easier with time and the benefits are obvious and indisputable. I choose to focus on the benefits instead of the hardships, since I know I can handle anything. I’ve been doing it so far and here I stand, healthy and happy. This is something I couldn’t say 2 years ago. The proof is in the pudding.
Love & light friends ✨
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