Each day I’m learning more about myself and listening to what I truly need … AND actually following through with doing it because now, I see no other option.
There are concepts I’ve learned so many times in each book I’ve read, each seminar I’ve attended, each experience but with my recent challenges they’re getting more intense. The lessons are finally coming into play and I’m understanding the difference between knowing, believing, and being.
Being is allowance – a beautiful non-resistance.
I’ve lived so many moments in resistance – really most of my life. I’ve had brief circumstances of just flowing and that’s when all just comes so easily – seemingly without effort (even though it has taken me a lot of effort to get to a place where I’ve realized this).
I know why I’ve lived this way. I know that this is a forever journey. But I’m also getting to the point where I surrender. Feelings come and go ALWAYS. Synchronicities happen – and I’m realizing how important it is to follow them. I’m understanding that self-care is not one or two actions, it’s a lifestyle. It’s taking time when you need it. It’s letting things come up and feeling them but not letting them consume me. It’s following my passions. It’s following my intuition. It’s saying no to the things that don’t serve me. It’s saying yes to the things that might be scary but I know will help me immensely. It’s leaving my comfort zone more often because that’s where magical things come to fruition. It’s accepting that there’s a lot of things out of my control and not getting so stuck in my head about them. It’s taking control of the things I can with love and grace. It’s forgiving myself for my imperfections. It’s loving my little quirks. Self-love is having compassion and treating yourself with the utmost respect.
My Dad’s passing has put so much into perspective. It’s helping me realize what truly matters more each day. It’s been really hard but it’s also been really beautiful. I’m finally at the point where I threw my hands up and said, “Universe, I’m done trying to figure it all out and control everything,” because now I truly know I can’t – it’s so obvious now.
I’m excited because I see my path behind me with love and compassion. I’m taking each footstep now with faith & hope. If I said I wasn’t afraid, I’d be lying – but for the first time in my life, I’m truly okay with being afraid and I don’t feel paralyzed, because no matter what – I know I will survive & thrive if I allow it.