Somewhere in the journey I’m on, I started to believe that I was lost. “I shouldn’t be here”, I’d often think. I still do from time to time.
As I continue on, I’m understanding that there is no where else to be but where my feet are. If I am in my head too much, I can convince myself otherwise. I can convince myself that over there is where I should be, experiencing joy instead of grief, or being in one job instead of the one i’m in now, or somewhere new instead of somewhere familiar, or somewhere familiar instead of somewhere new.
Everywhere I am has purpose. This isn’t to say that I need to be doing something profound in every moment, as that just leads to addiction to excitement, instead of contentment in the here and now. But there’s space for every emotion. There’s space for every dot along my personal road map. There’s a lesson in all of if, even in the stuckness that I often equate to failure.
When I focus on wanting to be somewhere else it keeps me in a state of imbalance & anxiety, and it’s hard for me to reach for gratitude or find joy in the moments that arise. While having goals and future plans is a beautiful thing, and direction is important, it’s also so vital to remember that life is now. The little moments of everyday, the embraces with loved ones, the conversations both tough and light, the meals, the chores, the play, the work, this is life. And to constantly run from where you are causes a disconnect I know far too well.
Remembering to be present each day isn’t always easy. We’re conditioned to find ways to cope that take us out of what we’re feeling instead of letting us experience all that’s arising and be aware enough to know no matter what it is, it has value.
Recently it’s been hard for me to remain in the moment because of a lot of different reasons. I feel stressed and tired. I know I’m not alone in this. But there’s space for joy too. And it’s not about feeling good all the time because that’s not realistic or even wanted. To feel elated all the time can be mania. But I do want to feel more present. I want to feel more connected. I want to feel more grounded. So no matter the storm, I can feel rooted in my own foundation to keep me steady.
How can you find presence where you are? Even if it feels not so great, how can you honor what your experiencing? Can you remember a time where you were going through a rough patch and thought times were ending only to come out the other side a new version that knew more about themselves? I’m looking for little moments in everyday to connect back and when I do this, I actually am giving myself grace to handle the moments that once felt unmanageable, and step into a higher awareness that brings me to new places.